


love is a losing game

by kayimnotokay



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Diary/Journal, F/M, Jilytober 2018, Romance, Teen Romance, jilytober, lily gets a makeover by the marauders
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 11:33:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16304399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayimnotokay/pseuds/kayimnotokay
Summary: I am going to get a makeover by the Marauders.I can’t believe this.Say goodbye to my sanity Archibald. It’s packing its bags and most definitely leaving soon.





	love is a losing game

4 days since incident:

 

Marlene said I looked like shit. Honestly agree. Gah

note to self: maybe try to clean up a bit?

 

I don’t know how people can even look at me. I swear Professor Flitwick winced when I walked in. I get it. Everyone knows what happened. Cheating Scumbag happened. Well I guess I’ll just tell you (who? Future lily? Are you a person, diary? You know what diary, your names Archibald now) the dilemma I’m in.

 

Okay so Archibald, I woke up in the wee early hours of the morning to Marlene screeching some song about love potions. I still don’t understand how wizards haven’t listened to muggle music. The Beatles make the Brewing Brothers and The Witches of West End sound like shit. Anyways, I was perfectly okay with sleeping till whenever my mind and body decided to fully wake up, restored and refreshed, but Marlene decided that the both of us should become early birds because I look like shit and need to come out of my “chrysalis” as a beautiful butterfly and show Cheating Scumbag what he missed.

 

So, she dragged me out of bed and shoved me in the bathroom and told me to “freshen up” in a sing songy voice and went off to probably sing to her bird friends through the window and wake up the rest of the Hogwarts population while doing so.

 

After freshening up, Marlene and I went down to the great hall for “a spot of breakfast.” Barely anyone was there. Maybe one or two people at each of the house tables and a few teachers, but it was slightly spooky to see almost nobody there. I thought that the hall would’ve been at least half full because of Marlene’s screeching. I didn’t even know what time it was. All I knew was that it was much too early for a normal seventeen year old to function. So I asked.

 

Marlene happily chirped back to me that it was five o’clock. Who is bloody awake by five?? Apparently those two hunky Hufflepuff dudes, the very creepy, stuck up Ravenclaw whose only purpose in life seems to be hanging in the library to yell VERY LOUDLY at people whispering and breaking other various rules, the scary Slytherins who I’m pretty sure are plotting to kill me by the way they are looking at me right now, and Evan Winchester, a fellow Gryffindor, who is a pretty good bloke, but his choice to wake up at this ungodly hour is making me question his sanity. 

 

We sat down and chatted for some time while we piled food on our plate.

 

Our harping was put to an abrupt halt by the entrance of the Marauders, whose insanity was only further proved by the time of day they decided to rise at. How they have boundless amounts of energy? I will never know. I secretly envy it though. My lack of sleep was catching up to me and my head was very close to smacking right into my plate of eggs.

 

Of course though, I was promptly awoken from my half asleep zombie state by the fact that my ex friend Marlene was conversing with the enemy. Yeah, I’m sorry I tried. I somehow always find a way to bring up the fact that I deeply dislike them and everything they do. I despise them and their cockiness and arrogance. Remus is all right without them, but with them? He’s no longer Remus to me. They seem to have the entire student body under their little fingers. WHY does the majority of the Hogwarts female population feel attracted to these spawns of Satan? I can’t imagine...ugh makes me wanna gag. They are conceited pricks whose purpose in life is to make sure everyone’s life is hell compared to theirs! You know Archibald, how far they will go...Potter asked me out continuously, non stop for TWO YEARS. It was so horrible, I thought it wasn’t going to end...I even contemplated that maybe I was in fact dead already and this was what Satan cooked up for me to atone for stealing petunia’s doll that one day. Surprisingly, Potter and his mates stopped with their teasing or at least toned it down. I wish I could say life was brill after that, but then Dumbledore went bonkers and made Potter head boy. To my head girl. Potter is honestly, okay at his job, but what about Remus? Or the Ravenclaw prefect? Potter would be maybe second to last choice, above Sirius Black. Ahh okay I will stop ranting now. My hand is cramping horribly...seems like writing about the marauders does that to a girl.

 

Well, onwards then...

 

Marlene, Black, and Potter were in deep conversation. My ears perked as I heard the words “git”, “deangelo”, absolute twat”, and “lily”. They were discussing me!!

 

“Oy! What are you talking about?!” I exclaimed, my voice slightly cracking from the strain. Scratchy, morning voice Lily sounds like Puberty Lily unfortunately and only made me look even more pathetic in the state I was in. I pointed an accusing finger at Marlene, who merely laughed and said in the most casual tone, “Deangelo of course.”

 

When did cool, casual Marlene take the place of “what a shit faced wanker” Marlene...I rather liked the latter.

 

“What about him?” I almost spat out, but the words were laced with hurt that only Marlene could hear. She instantly softened before explaining.

 

“Lily, it’s been a month. You’re allowed to mope, but by now I think something else is holding you back than Deangelo and his scumbaggy ways.”

 

Black cut in at this point with some of his own commentary. “Looks like you’ve been kissed by a dementor Evans. You look and sound like shit.”

 

Well that makes two people who’ve told me that.

 

“You need to get your life back together Lily! And no, grudgingly participating in waking up early today wasn’t not getting your life back together!” Marlene shook me with such force, ringlets of my hair fell out of its bun and I could feel them brushing against the side of my face.

 

“Easier said than done,” I grumbled back.

 

Yes, I would love to become irresistibly beautiful in order to make Cheating Scumbag so insanely jealous, he cries out in agony and tries to win my heart back. But it’s going to take a fashion team to fix the mess that’s me right now. And I honestly don’t want to try. he hurt me more than I’d like to admit to anyone...Marlene’s right. It’s not just what he did...but he kicked my self confidence to the curb and into the sewers. And I just can’t seem to have the heart to try for anything. Everyday is just eat, sleep, work, repeat. Deangelo can fuck off. I’ll deal with my demons later when it’s time....I just don’t know when....

 

Of course though...things just don’t work out the way you want them Archibald.

 

I tried to communicate these thoughts to Marlene through the eyes, since you know...it’s the marauders and I’d rather not bear my soul to them. After a very intense glare, vigorous side to side eye movement, a short lived staring contest, and a mere roll of the eyes from Marlene, she scoffed and shook her head before telling me I was crazy.

 

“Lily, don’t you want to prove to him that he made a mistake hurting you?”

 

“Evans, she makes a point. You need to show the bloke everything he missed!” Black added, sassily swishing his hair.

 

Since when did Black support Marlene’s endeavors to convince me to get my revenge on Cheating Scumbag?

 

Apparently now.

 

I was about to retort, when Cheating Scumbag just had to enter the hall right then and there with the biggest smile on his stupid stupid face.

 

All of it just ignited a flame within me that made the blood rush throughout my body. My heart beat quicker and quicker with every step he took closer. An influx of angry, bitter thoughts flooded my head. He was only two steps away.

 

One.

 

Two.

 

There.

 

Gone.

 

I could only think of how he just came and gone so quickly and how I seemed to be affected by it!

 

“Fine! I’ll do it!” I said as I slammed my fist on the table.

 

“That’s my girl!” Marlene chirped in triumph. “But, Lily, remember though…in the end this is for you, not Deangelo.”

 

“Yes Marlene…I know,” I responded.

 

“This is great Evans!” Black happily added. “We will help you become a beautiful butterfly again!”

 

“That’s what I told her too before!” Marlene gasped.

 

God. I swear, maybe I’ve been best friends with the female Sirius Black this entire time.

 

I realized he had said _we._

 

“What do you mean 'we' ?” I asked Black.

 

Potter responded this time with a smile.

 

“Oh you are going to need our help Evans if you want to show a bloke what he missed!” he told me.

 

“Yes Evans. You are quite the lucky girl. You have the Marauders as your makeover team!” Black exclaimed.

 

“Don’t forget me!” Marlene cut in. “This’ll be so fun! I’m excited! Don’t worry Lily, I will keep the boys in line!”

 

And, it finally hit me what I signed up for. I didn’t think the Marauders were part of the agreement, but there was no backing out now with the way they were looking at me. Sleep-deprived Lily had no fight left in her and reached acceptance.

 

I write all this in deep regret Archibald.

 

I am going to get a makeover by the Marauders.

 

I can’t believe this.

 

Say goodbye to my sanity Archibald. It’s packing its bags and most definitely leaving soon.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading the first chapter of this fic! I hope you enjoyed it. I'm most likely going to make little edits here and there in the future. Reading this again and I notice how absolutely crazy lily is... but I don’t know, doesn’t she seem a bit eccentric to you? Anyways, I kind of like this eccentric Lily. I have absolutely no idea where this fic is ultimately going to (well I do but...we'll see ;) ) Please leave a review and tell me what ya think! Much love to you all!


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